100 way's Voldemort could die
by saffarinda
Summary: crack-fic: 100 way's Voldemort could die - DO NOT READ IF YOU ARE LOOKING FOR A SERIOUS FANFICTION!
1. The start of Death's

**100 WAYS VOLDEMORT COULD DIE!**

1#

"Harry Potter – The boy who lived, come to die," Voldemort's harsh voice said as he raised his wand. "Avada Kedav-," Voldemort suddenly gasped, and his knees trembled as he fell to the floor, blood pouring out of a whole in his head.

"The name's bond," said a male voice. "James Bond,"

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This is the beginning of a crack-fic. I'm going to upload 1 chapter every day of stupid way's Voldemort could die :D Most of them are going to be short but it's just a fanfiction you can read if your up for some humour :D

~saffarinda


	2. The Second Death

100 WAYS VOLDEMORT COULD DIE!

2#

Voldemort had his arm stuck out, waiting for the Knight bus impatiently. With a sudden bang – a large purple bus appeared in front of him.

"Get in loser, were going shopping," Stan said to Voldemort before rolling his eyes and wandering off to talk to Ernie. Brushing his robes, Voldemort stepped inside the bus and sat down on a bed.

The bus set off at such a high speed Voldemort died from a heart attack

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Sorry, I forgot to update yesterday :/ Can anyone guess the quote and where it's from? Virtual cookies to all who can :)

~saffarinda


	3. Tea Shops

**_100 WAYS VOLDEMORT COULD DIE!_**

3#

Voldemort was having an ordinary day – or as ordinary of a day Dark Lord's could have. He rose from his chair gracefully to floo to his favorite tea shop.

He made his way to the fire and steeped in immedietley. Forgetting that he had to throw in floo powder first, Voldemort was burnt to death.

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That's the third one. If you have any idea's for deaths please PM me :D

~saffarinda


	4. KerPlunk

100 WAYS VOLDEMORT COULD DIE!

4#

Voldemort was sipping tea when he was suddenly transported to a child's bedroom. I know you're all thinking – that is so wrong, but he was not standing openly in the room.

Voldemort stood in a long green tube and was squashed up against some marbles. Long, colourful plastic sticks that seemed much more vicious were above him in a random pattern.

Suddenly, the instructions for this game (Ker-Plunk) hovered in front of him. As Voldemort read them he felt an on going terror.

If one of the sticks made him fall he would die. Voldemort turned to grab onto something but fell to his death before he could.

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Not as funny as the others but I wrote 10 of these on the same day xD I'm going to start using your idea's at Death 11. I've already planned death 50, 99 and 100 :D

~saffarinda


	5. Voldemort's cookies and big bad guns

100 WAYS VOLDEMORT COULD DIE!

5#

"Are you sure, Hermione?" Harry asked uncertianly to his bushy haired friend. Rolling her eyes, Hermione replied "Wand's are getting us no-where so we might as well try these…

5 hour's later, the Golden Trio appereated to "The Dark Manor where All Darkness happens – We also sell cookies." As Voldemort had so nicley named it.

As the three stormed in, they grabbed some free samples of strawberry and chocolate cookies before facing Voldemort.

"Why Hello, and welcome to-," Voldemort was cut off as Harry shouted "DIE BITCH!" and started shooting him with a gun that he had bought.

Meanwhile, Ron and Hermione shot random death eaters for fun.

Voldemort died.

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That's the 5th one :D 95 more Death's to go. Hope you enjoyed it – free sample of Voldemort's cookie's to whoever reviews :D

~saffarinda


	6. Ickle spiders really Bella?

100 WAYS VOLDEMORT COULD DIE!

6#

Voldemort stared at his thin legs. He had tested his animagus form and was surprised to find that he was a spider.

Voldemort decided to explore his evil mansion as a spider and soon came along Bellatrix Lestrange. Wanting to scare her, he crawled up gently before jumping onto her face.

"AHHHHHH!" Bella screamed – the woman who wasn't even afraid of burning coals.

Chuckong Voldemort off her, she squished him with a crunch and ran so no-one knew it was her that had screamed.

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Ickle Bella afraid of spiders xD Haha – review please, or I'll turn you into spiders and throw you at Bella xD

~saffarinda


	7. Evil Lord's and Evil Dog's

100 WAYS VOLDEMORT COULD DIE!

7#

Voldemort was strolling through the local muggle park when he saw a vicious dog. Being Lord Voldemort – he wasn't scared of dog's so he went over to taunt it.

"Who's an evil dog, who's an- AHHHHH!" Voldemort screamed girlishly and started running around the park with an evil dog running after him.

The dog jumped on him and tore his head off, ending Voldy's life.

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There's the 7th one. The 8th will be up tomorrow. I have a special one for 10 :D

~saffarinda


	8. Killing Golf Balls

100 WAYS VOLDEMORT COULD DIE!

8#

Voldemort was standing on the lush green grass at a local golf park. He had decided to try out golf as a stress reliever.

Positioning himself in the correct stance, he was just about to hit his ball when he saw a small white dote shooting towards him.

"Hmm, I wonder what- AHHHHH!" Voldemort screamed as he now realised it was a golf ball. He made to move but the golf ball hit him on the head causing him to die.

Sorry I have been so late and I'm just updating all as one :/

~ saffarinda


	9. The 1,00000000000000 miles per hour car

100 WAYS VOLDEMORT COULD DIE!

9#

Voldemort was crossing a busy road thinking about random evil plans to take over the world when a car rushed at 1,00000000000000 miles per hour towards him. Voldemort did not notice the car as he was thinking evil thoughts and died with a splat.

No one cared :P

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I can't think of idea's so sorry if this is terrible. If you have any idea's could you please PM me?

~saffarinda


	10. Happy Halloween Special

_**100 Ways Voldemort Could Die**_

_**No.10**_

One night, 31st October to be precised, a strange looking man with no nose went trick or treating. He came to a small, ghostly cottage and decided to pay them a visit. He knocked on the door, and all of a sudden... A nose jumped out at him and attacked his face! And he died a happy nose-less being because he ended up dying with a nose. And then everybody had a magnificent tea party in heaven.

Credit goes to Ellen for making the idea ~ saffarinda


	11. Bella and the Devils Snare

**_100 Ways Voldemort could die!_**

#11

A mannequin with devil snare as hair has been died black and dressed up as Bellatrix. Voldemort was strolling through his glorious mansion thinking really very not good thoughts when he came across the mannequin, he went up to Bellatrix to kiss her when he was strangled to death… an excuse for the Order of the Phoenix to party and get drunk.

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Hehe, updated! Not to long apart as well. Hope you enjoyed it, credit goes to Artic Phoenix or the idea :3


	12. The Attack of the Fan Girls!

_**100 ways Voldemort could die!**_

#12

Harry, Ron and Hermione had a very evil idea. They knew about their fans and decided that's how Voldemort's death would come to him. So they went to the cellar where all the fan girls began screaming.

Harry explained then plan and the fan girls nodded obediently. So they lured Voldemort to the mansion where he was torn apart by thousands of furious fan girls.

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Two in one day :3 I'm just making it up to you :3 I want to get to death number 50 by christmas :D


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